Mr. Sunderland
5/28/2012

-Get rid of you tube video. Too long. Max video length is 45 seconds.
-Thesis needs polishing. As is, missing words, ambiguous pronouns and overall chunkiness.
-Captions need to convey a point. Why did you put visual in?
-Overall, too wordy. Edit bullets down.
-Better visuals needed to support ideas not just be relevant. For example, you could have several images of Cherokee showing how they attempt to assimilate to American culture. Alphabet is good. How about show pictures of homes & dress?
-Landing Pages:
-topic sentences needed: why'd you put those pages together? What is big unifying idea for pages under a landing page?
-have "back", "thesis", and "next" links on landing pages
-Use "button" element for links rather than just plain "text" element. Looks better.
-Lot more dates needed throughout.
-Need some more maps. Where is Cherokee Land? Where is gold discovered?
-Treaties page should come in before section not during section. Or at least the treaties that came before should.
-Fighting for land page:
-somewhat redundant. Some of those points were made earlier
-divide into sections on each court case and delve into each case more.
-More quotes needed.
-consider other long term effects beyond Cherokee. How about effects on Indian affairs in general?
-get your names out of bib
-rename link to bib
-figure out scribed for bib
-reformat bib: smaller margins and font size

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JJ
1/21/2014

Is this for NHD?

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